Are We Done Yet?

...tumbling through life...

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I feel guilty, because I bought a bathroom scale.
This sounds kinda ridiculous, but I’m a firm believer in making decisions regarding your body based on how you feel in it and I am opposed to the tyranny of numbers that scales seem to hold over so many people, especially young women, and I don’t want to fall victim to it again, as I have before, resulting in endless cycles of weight loss / weight gain. Because of this I had made the decision to live a scale-free life in January ‘14 (apart from my kitchen scale, that is.)
A number on a scale cannot in any way express my level of comfort in my own skin. I don’t love my body, but I’m okay with it. Most moments of discomfort I experience regarding my body stem from outside judgements (no matter if rude and loud words by strangers or soft-spoken and well-meaning words by friends). But recently I’ve gained a lot of weight without really noticing it, and while I don’t feel any less (or more) comfortable in it than I did before, it’s getting to a point where my clothes don’t fit comfortably any more. So instead of outgrowing my entire wardrobe once again, I’ve decided to - literally - watch my weight.My weight in numbers does not mean much to me by itself, and I have no intention of comparing it to other people’s weight or constantly checking my BMI, to see whether I’m getting closer to the fetishized normative body weight for my height. I merely feel I need to keep track of it to see whether I’m unknowingly gaining even more, so that I’m able to take quick countermeasures (by which I mean just a little tweak on the controls here and there). Basically I simply want another indicator than just my clothes feeling a little bit tighter.
But still I feel a little guilty to have this apparatus back in my life after the successful break-up back in winter…

I feel guilty, because I bought a bathroom scale.

This sounds kinda ridiculous, but I’m a firm believer in making decisions regarding your body based on how you feel in it and I am opposed to the tyranny of numbers that scales seem to hold over so many people, especially young women, and I don’t want to fall victim to it again, as I have before, resulting in endless cycles of weight loss / weight gain. Because of this I had made the decision to live a scale-free life in January ‘14 (apart from my kitchen scale, that is.)

A number on a scale cannot in any way express my level of comfort in my own skin. I don’t love my body, but I’m okay with it. Most moments of discomfort I experience regarding my body stem from outside judgements (no matter if rude and loud words by strangers or soft-spoken and well-meaning words by friends).

But recently I’ve gained a lot of weight without really noticing it, and while I don’t feel any less (or more) comfortable in it than I did before, it’s getting to a point where my clothes don’t fit comfortably any more. So instead of outgrowing my entire wardrobe once again, I’ve decided to - literally - watch my weight.

My weight in numbers does not mean much to me by itself, and I have no intention of comparing it to other people’s weight or constantly checking my BMI, to see whether I’m getting closer to the fetishized normative body weight for my height. I merely feel I need to keep track of it to see whether I’m unknowingly gaining even more, so that I’m able to take quick countermeasures (by which I mean just a little tweak on the controls here and there). Basically I simply want another indicator than just my clothes feeling a little bit tighter.

But still I feel a little guilty to have this apparatus back in my life after the successful break-up back in winter…

Filed under personal scales weight body positivity fatness